


The Angel Enigma

by vivalafia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 19th Century, Angel/Demon Relationship, Angel/Demon Sex, Banter, Civil War, Demon Dean, Depression, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Games, Immortality, Love, M/M, Past Character Death, Past Lives, Reincarnation, Romance, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sexy, Teasing, Time Skips, Violence, Words, bad habits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:26:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4968010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivalafia/pseuds/vivalafia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>August 20th, 1869. That was the day Dean Winchester died, the day immortality became Castiel's greatest burden. Fast forward to late 1970's, and his blessing returns, with black eyes and a sadistic plan to be fulfilled. Will Castiel keep mourning the Dean he used to know way back when, or seek hope in an unrequited love?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Angel Enigma

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing fan fiction for nearly 3 years now, so I have a pretty good idea of handling the horrors that lie within any fan fiction site. lol But this is the first fic I've written since I deleted every written file in my laptop a couple months back.
> 
> I am currently still in school so I may not update all the time but I'll try to do with what I can. ;)
> 
> Thanks!

**♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕**  
_**"What we find in a soulmate is** _  
**_not something wild to tame, but something wild to run with."_ **  
**\- Robert Brault**  
**♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕**

* * *

  
** Lawrence, Kansas 1852 **

 

_"Castiel!"_

A vast chorus of rain pricked at their skin, but _the game_ kept them chasing.

_"Ah, yes! I love the rain!"_

_Love._ This was one of Ignoramus' favorite words. Despite his hackneyed nickname, the Ignoramus' proclivity for knowledge knew no boundaries. He even developed a profound obsession with words. Not just definitions, but the fact alone:

There are an infinite amount of words and not enough of the human brain to capacitate an entire single language alone. Not enough time within 3 mortal lifespans to reach some absent conclusion. Every word is unique, has a different sound, and changes further depending on the speaker. This was one of many ultimate resolutions he'd come to since his return to Earth.

_"Don't be a slowpoke, Cas!"_

Halfwit's vocabulary had never been quite as exhaustive, but there were some words in particular to which he exhibited lucid appreciation. In fact, Halfwit's favorite word in the entire universe was _Castiel._ Maybe it was the wings, or the stunning blue eyes, or the _angelic smile_ , or really, all of it. Halfwit's love for this celestial being was as infinite, if not more, as the angel's erudite spirit; both were as boundless as the sea. In his eyes, there wasn't a single fibre of his ignoramus that didn't radiate _God's-honest perfection._

_Halfwit had a couple of yards on the other one, but was beginning to lose momentum. The brunette of the pair had been chasing him through the thick patch of oak trees for nearly half an hour, and their cold, soaked clothes clung to their bodies, under their tailcoats._

_The ignoramus' vessel wasn't totally infrangible and his breath was coming out in patternless rasps, it was exhilarating. His throat felt as though it was sprouting icicles with every sharp intake. Halfwit was constantly reminding him to breathe in through his nose, out through his mouth. Just as the ignoramus had to incessantly remind himself to simply breathe around Halfwit._

_The angel knew that the more sensible thing to do would be using his mojo to catch up. Then, they might've beat sunset, taken shelter, and changed clothes, then snuggled up to enjoy the canvas view of the sky, back then was an uncovered, brilliant mass of orange, blue, and purple. But the ignoramus liked to satisfy Halfwit's humanity with a fair game._

_This would only end up being one of the ignoramus' greatest regrets: never telling Halfwit that despite it all, he enjoyed their game, as well._

"Halfwit" was a nickname specially given by the ignoramus from experience. It was based solely on the hilarity of the biased opinions of the townspeople. _They didn't know HIS human like he did._ The ignoramus had found the irony amusing, and liked to joke with Halfwit about him being "only half as stupid as they thought." Sure he was absurdly stubborn, and dangerous, and spent half his time making decisions based on sheer recklessness. The again, _Halfwit was only human._  But to the angel, he was much more. Halfwit was a hero whose story went untold, a brother who took immense care, and a lover of an angel named Castiel, and of words, comparatively small, to describe the sweet nothings about life.

Apparently that's what the townspeople recalled as some "drunken, crazy screw up." A young man who'd seen more damage in his first 10 years, than a retired, middle- aged Texas Ranger. One who had more a reason to be intoxicated every now and then, than anyone in town. The same "screw-up" who just had much to say about this and that, about everything, and of a world he thought had yet to reach a mere fraction of its potential. _Halfwit's greatest crime against humanity would forever stick: he was too ahead of his time._

_Halfwit reveled in having the lead in their game, as well found himself competent to turn back and glance at his chaser, as he maneuvered through the tangle of thick oak trees. Each time he did, they mirrored each other's actions. A grin for a grin, laugh for a laugh, a gleam in one's eyes for a shine in the other's._

Sometime as their game had just begun, they nearly fell off their path when one of the ignoramus' brothers paid an unfortunate visit. This brother only reminded the angel, as his previous sibling's visits have, that his relationship with Dean Winchester wouldn't be insusceptible to the consequences that were all but time away. He told him these dangerous liaisons were "damnable and immoral" and needed to end before he was revoked of his admission to Heaven. Of course, this weighed heavily on the ignoramus. In Heaven, for as long as anyone could remember, he'd been one of the most respectable angels, held a high standing, never did any less than what was expected, never more. He was _common_ , comprised of the word of his infamous, yet ever-absent Father.

Nevertheless, when the odds came down to his narrow-minded, malevolent brothers and sisters, and the only love he'd ever known, Dean Winchester, his decision was ultimate. The ignoramus wasn't ready for their game to end, even if Halfwit and him would only lose.

As time passed, their relationship became far more complex and intimate than either had anticipated. So much so, they fell completely in love, and in the process, both grew totally blind to the consequences from both realms.

_The ignoramus was falling short, and his vessel's legs were close to giving out. Sometime between the drizzle turning into a flood, entering a densely-packed part of the forest, and the thrill of their game somehow clouding his sense of direction, the angel managed to trip over a large tree root._

_However, his cry got lost in the pounding of rain against the muddy forest floor and the thick leaves. Fortunately, not far after, Halfwit became aware of his angel's absence and traced his steps back to his lover._

Some say being in love is like being caught in a euphoric high you couldn't escape. The ignoramus would only ever disagree.

There's a famous riddle in Greek mythology:

_What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, three legs in the evening, and no legs at night?_

The answer is man.

A man starts out as a baby, fragile and pure, crawling on all fours, for their minute age excuses them for not knowing any better. Soon they grow up and are able to distinguish right from wrong, and pick themselves up to proceed on two legs. Much later, their age catches up to them, rewarding them with an achy back and cramped muscles. Therefore, the only way to walk on two legs is to support it with a 3rd, much like a walker. Then, at some infallible moment, at any day and age, death interrupts their card game by snatching them into his greedy hands, and drags them to their ineffably pitiful end. As once said: _And then there were none._

Loving Halfwit was like being caught between four legs and two. It was like being a child, loving a child. Playing their game as children. Running, chasing, the ignoramus, laughing, forest, love, Halfwit, his smile, sunset, chasing, forest, falling down, crawling, laughing, running, love, Halfwit, the game, _their game._ Like a beautiful montage depicting their story.

_Upon seeing the ignoramus facedown in a grassy puddle, the blonde failed to suppress the loud chuckle that tore from his throat, causing the angel's cold cheeks to burn a brighter shade of red._

_Halfwit considered offering his hand, but retracted his fingers._

_The angel attempted to sit up and furrowed his eyebrows, his expression one of capricious misunderstanding. "Please."_

_The human only grinned. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Thought you could drag me in with you, eh?"_

_"I'm an angel. I can't have ulterior motives." The ignoramus replied as a matter-of-fact._

_"Your eyes and your lips seem to always say otherwise."_

Halfwit thought it only fair to reciprocate by giving his angel a nickname, as well. "The ignoramus" sufficed for the irony that really wasn't, and as he had a secret trusted to be kept only by his human. In fact, the ignoramus would never forget the moment Halfwit discovered the truth behind the angel's apparent and "adorably innocent" defiance for mortality.

This would only end up being one of those greatest regrets of the ignoramus: Not being able to protect _his human_ from what's really out there. Failing to keep him a _child._

Contrary to the angel's anxieties, Halfwit had found the truth to be alluring, and was astounded that the ignoramus thought he'd leave him for it. If anything, it put a new kink to their game.

_Halfwit's lips were twisted in a teasing way, his stout grin was ethereal._

It was moments like these that the angel would get lost in his human. Halfwit's face was truly mesmerizing, his features all beautifully sculpted to that of god-like perfection. Not to mention his eyes, which inhabited the most stunning pair of emerald orbs he'd ever seen.

He'd always thought Halfwit looked most beautiful like this: drenched from head to toe, thick raindrops gathering at the tips of his hair, and laughing like they weren't constantly in the midst of tragedy.

_Halfwit snorted then shrugged, before extending a hand out for his "fallen" angel._

_The ignoramus eyed his human's offer, and then looked up at his lover, smiling evilly. Before Halfwit had a chance to register his fate and pull back again, the angel dragged his fingers up Halfwit's exposed arm, causing the hair there to stand up, then latched on and tugged him down roughly._

_The angel squinted his eyes as water splashed everywhere, soaking him and Halfwit completely._

_The blonde shot up almost immediately, shaking the grass and mud out of his hair like a dog. It was the ignoramus' turn to laugh._

_Halfwit would only end up laughing with him._

_Sometime later, they emerged from the pond-like puddle, and from there, called it a day._

_They trudged back to their secret cabin in the woods, side by side. However, the entire way back they didn't say a single word, instead a symphony of crickets and rain filled their ears. They may not have even noticed, both were so consumed in their own thoughts, their ideas so similar, these fantasies but minutes away from becoming a reality._

_The second they entered the wooden cabin, Halfwit approached the fireplace, lighting a match and throwing it into the waiting pile of logs._

_The incandescent blaze of light quickly enveloped the front of his body with heat and grasped his attention._

As it will be written nearly a century later, "it is a pleasure to burn."

It's one of man's greatest passions: to watch things burn, break, shatter, to be consumed in total destruction.

T _he fire's dance reflected upon Halfwit's glossy eyes, sparking in him what had been compelling his mind for a long time._

At the end of the day, man likes destruction and falling in love, perhaps the most destructive aspect of humanity.

An even greater passion is to succumb to pleasure, to give into love.

_Halfwit and the ignoramus locked eyes at the exact same time, and it was in that moment that a single glance meant, "you too?"_

_They made for each other also at the same time, looking to touch, to feel, to love, to be children._

_Their lips smashed together in a single notion. This kiss was their first, but it had felt like the middle of something, like finishing a sentence, like the exhale from a long-drawn breath. It's the first time their mouths have touched, but it doesn't feel new. It's as if they've done it before, all their lives, sporadically giving and receiving intimacy as simply as breathing._

_Halfwit drew the ignoramus' bottom lip into his mouth, the soft pillow of it fitting perfectly as he sucked on it as sweet as it deserved._

_The angel backed them up to a bed, their bodies fell together on the clean sheets. Their lips remained attached, sucking, feeding, giving and taking in one of the most pleasurable ways possible._

_"My beautiful human." The ignoramus whispered in his blissful state._

_Halfwit tangled his fingers in the angel's dark hair, parting his lips for the other boy as he tucked right in with the softness of his tongue and all the pieces finally locked together._

_"You formidable angel." Halfwit moaned, grasping onto one of God's soldiers for support._

_A huge bubble of happiness erupted in the angel, causing his heart to stretch impossibly, and his eyes to fill with pride and tears of joy. He pulled back and leaned down to pepper his human's sensitive neck with kisses. To laden his body, anywhere he could reach, with his kisses, his love._

_Just when Halfwit didn't think he could hold on any longer, the angel reconnected their lips, and allowed himself and his human to finally let go._

_Eventually, their clothes lay inside-out on the floor, their hands roaming all over one another, the warmth they'd created permeating their bodies._

_As soon as they pulled apart, the words they spoke were even more familiar. They whispered them easier than breathing, than kissing, than touching, than simply being..._

_"I love you, Cas." Whispered Halfwit, closing his eyes, and pressing their foreheads together._

_The angel's hands were firm as they cupped his human's jaw, the shadow created by the light of the fire acting as a second thumb to rub against his soft cheeks._

_The ignoramus then leaned down a last time, pressing his lips upon Halfwit's and holding them there. When he pulled away, he brushed his thumb tenderly above the blonde's closed eyelid, urging him to witness, to not take a single passionate word for granted._

_Their eyes seemed to lock for thousands of centuries._

_"I love you, too, Dean."_

It was then that the sound of traffic and a blunt reality woke Castiel up.

Other than him, a fallen angel, his bed was empty, but none the more desolate than Castiel's heart every morning when he looked at the clock.

3:52 AM, Monday - August 1st, 1977

* * *

 

 **♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕**  
**To be continued...**  
**♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕♕**

  
**A/N: This is my first official fic, and I'm determined to finish it. I WILL! But, don't go thinking I'm new... lol I've been reading and writing fan fiction for nearly 3 years. Except this time, I finally posted something.**

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**The theme song for this chapter is Tag, You're It by Melanie Martinez**

 

**Author's Note:**

> The theme song for this chapter is Flashback by Uppermost.


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